Are Arranged Marriages Red Pill?

Red Pill thinking doesn’t just extend to race and religion and genetics.  It also means looking at male-female gender dynamics and accepting them for what they are, not what they should be under some utopia in which human nature doesn’t exist. 

The underlying dynamic in the sexual market is this:  sperm is cheap, and eggs are expensive.  What this leads to is that all females, to some degree, are driven by hypergamy – the need to mate with the highest quality male given their limited opportunities to reproduce. 

In most animal species, what this leads to is that females have all the burden of caring for the young, while all the males end up constantly fighting to be #1 alpha male, because if they don't become the alpha their genes die out.  Nothing gets done, infants usually have a higher death rate and have to gain independence at an earlier age, leaving less time for brain and skills development.      

However, in species in which males and females pair bond monogamously to reproduce, males end up providing significant care to his children, who then end up having a better chance of survival.  I’m not a biologist, so I don’t know the exact mechanism by which species differentiate into this hypergamous/monogamous dynamic.  But it does cause significant behavioral differences.     

When we apply this to human relationships, we see that societies can also benefit from pushing monogamy.  A civilization that channels male energy into economically productive avenues and not just fighting/combat will have a huge advantage over those societies that don’t.  These successful societies end up spreading their social mores, either via conquest or emulation from others.

Tying the concept of hypergamy back to India, there are two reasons why I think arranged marriage evolved in India:

1)    Overall, arranged marriage is good for social stability and for making sure that the best female assets are distributed towards the men that will contribute the most towards society rather than alpha males who are socially dominating.  Arranged marriage helps counteract female hypergamy.

2)    In a low average IQ society such as India, the caste system is probably what allowed the creation of an intellectual upper class by preventing high IQ genes from getting diluted.  Given the huge diversity of society, parents wanting to preserve their wealth and social status simply couldn’t take the risk of their children falling in love with someone very different.  Social rules evolved to discourage kids from picking their own mates.

However, there are some downsides to arranged marriage:

-Endogamy – in India, caste and social groups become too closely related, and genetics start to overlap, increasing the risk of recessive bad mutations

-Lack of game – arranged marraige doesn’t allow men to fully explore their masculinity and properly learn to seduce a woman because mommy daddy found someone for them.  Many men end up either doormats to their wives with no game, abusive and over controlling, or distant. 

OTOH, by taking care of dating for kids, young men can devote themselves to something productive instead of conspicuous display of resources.

-Arranged marriage further cements a ruling class’s hold on power.  Talented people from lower classes will be even more shut out from opportunities that will take advantage of their skills then if they had the option of marrying into wealth. 

With all said, I saw a CNN article on arranged marriage recently and thought I would post about it. 

This is a fairly blue pill article with some red pill truths hidden inside.  

In many ways, Naina is no different than millennial women I know in the US.

She is 20 and finishing a degree in psychology at a Delhi university. She wears Zara skinny jeans and H&M T-shirts and hangs out with her girlfriends at one of Delhi's myriad American-style malls and coffee shops.

She listens to R&B and EDM on Apple Music; her favorite song is "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. Cable TV is so yesterday; she streams shows and movies on Netflix. Her favorite? "Something Borrowed," in which a young woman falls in love with her best friend's fiancé.

But when it comes to marriage, Naina's views might shock American women her age. She reflects a way of thinking long engrained in the culture of my homeland: Your parents know best.

"I believe very strongly in the idea of an arranged marriage," she tells me over the phone one recent evening. "Not that a love marriage is not right. But it has been instilled in me to have an arranged marriage."

….

I was surprised by conversations I had with my cousins and the daughters of friends. I saw them as women who were smart, confident and independent, with aspirations for every success. Yet they preferred a marriage that was arranged for them by their parents.

Interesting!

Even though women are surrounded by ads and movies promoting love -- obsessive, forbidden, impossible love that defies all societal expectations -- Indian society is still not ready for all that, Flock says. A big reason: the stigmas that are still attached to marrying someone from a different faith or social class.

Fake News CNN thinks this is a bad thing, but it’s actually standard in most of the world.  India just happens to be a super diverse society in which people more frequently come into contact with those of a different social class or religion than in other countries which are far more homogenous.  Remember what I wrote in my last post – caste differences in a single village are multiple times that of the genetic difference between northern and southern Europeans.

Marriage in India is about devotion to another person. About caring, duty and sacrifice. An arranged marriage is based on a premise of permanence. It's not based on love that someday might fade, but rather a contract that needs to be fulfilled.

This was actually how many societies viewed marriage as well. 

            I ask her about the qualities she's looking for in an ideal husband.

"He should be a nice person," she replies. "Have good values. Good morals, ethics."

He should be well educated. And he's got to have money. That last part is very important for Naina.

In the West, this girl would be laughed at for not pursuing the bad boys.  Guess which society is more stable, though?  The one in which nice stable guys are valued or the one in which exciting bad boys  are? 

"I'm not sure I will fall in love with the guy before I get married," Naina admits. "That happens over time. But I am sure I will like him enough to say 'yes.' "

I ask her how she will feel if she never falls in love with the husband her parents have chosen for her. Naina tells me that happiness comes from within -- not from a new handbag, a vacation or even a relationship.

"These things are easier said than done, but it's not the end of the world if I don't fall in love with my husband in an arranged marriage. I would sure hope I do, but it won't kill me if I don't," she says.

"We all come alone and die alone."

She believes her parents love each other, but it's a different sort of love than the one portrayed in popular culture. Love is only a small component to a successful relationship, she says.  "It's a love that stems from dependency, habit, need and attachment," she says.

I don’t know how I feel about this.  I would hope that I will love the woman I marry, but I think Naina is hinting at something that makes some sense – love is a chemical reaction, which fades over time.  Social status compatibility and shared values don’t. 

"As I went forward, what was happening behind closed doors was radically different than what was being shown publicly," Flock tells me. "People were having affairs and secret abortions with lovers. They were really pushing boundaries, while outwardly they were saying, 'Of course I am going to have the marriage my parents arranged. I am going to do what my mother did.' "

Parvati, one of the women in Flock's book, fell madly in love with the man of her dreams. But in the end, her parents persuaded her to enter an arranged marriage. She now wants her daughter to do the same. Flock says she was shocked by what Parvati told her: She believed the old ways were better; that she would have experienced instability and uncertainty had she married for love.

If I was the schmuck that she was in an arranged marriage with, how would I feel if I found out that she was an alpha widow to some Chad that she had an abortion with?  Hard to say. 

Hard to say what the “red pill” consensus on arranged marriage should be. 

According to comments on this Red Pill Subreddit  there are some major downsides of arranged marriages, such as the lack of recourse for men in case the wife gets fat, gets an attitude, or cheats.  Divorce courts are apparently anti-male.

This comment seems pretty reasonable:

It's much easier, and more beneficial IMO, to work on your goals, have good game, and select for yourself. At least then you'll know pretty intimately who you're getting involved with and, having met her in the States, you'll be able to tell how much damage feminism has done to her.

So what’s the consensus?  Seems like the concept of arranged marriage works well, within a traditional society.  However, marrying a girl via arranged marriage and expecting her to stay feminine, slim, and faithful under the poisonous feminist, high fructose corn syrup filled, thirsty male conditions in the West is simply hoping for too much.

Could this work in India?  Again, the weight issue is a big one.  With the carb and butter heavy diet, could your average woman really maintain a slim figure post-marriage? 

However, if a girl is exposed to feminism and consciously rejects that in order to pursue an arranged marriage without having been burned by the cock carousel...well...you may have yourselves a winner!!!

Anyway, interesting stuff.    

Also wanted to add a plug for this thread on reddit.  Basically - beta guy does everything right - studies, job, arranged marriage, green card, etc.  Finds out that his wife had sex before she got married and remained in touch with her boyfriend after marriage.  Worst part is she's not that attractive and has facial hair!!!

Damn son...that guy has taken the red pill hard and fast.  Hope he can recover.  

Like I said - in a culture in which premarital sex becomes the norm, then arranged marriage looses its value, as it creates an alpha fux/beta bux dynamic and resentment from the girl that can't marry the guy she wants and has to settle.  OTOH, if this was a traditional society where the girl couldn't date before marriage and wasn't exposed to feminism after marriage, then it could work.

How changing gender dynamics in the West coupled with the rise of the alt-right and manosphere are going to impact dating in India is anyone's guess, but get the popcorn!!!